Friday, January 20, 2012

Solving the Problems in the Middle East

There seems to be something wrong with the entire Islamic world in general, but often it is localized to the modern state of Israel and its surrounding bloodthirsty neighbors.

I have a solution that I would like to propose. Assuming that we are the kings of the world and can dictate whatever we want and everyone else has to do it.

1. If you assume that the problem with the Middle East is that there are too many Jews there, then the answer is simple. Ask the Arabs who live there what the right number of Jews is. I am guessing that it is a number very near zero. Take all those "extra Jews" out of there and force them to move here to the United States. Why Here? Because most Israeli Jews are white, speak English and have a first-world standard of living. They would be a welcome addition to our collective. They will easily compete favorably for jobs in the USA and along the way make America better for everyone.

2. As a matter of simple fairness, move a like number of Non-citizen Islamic residents from the USA to the new nation of Palestine. Start with people who originated in "Palestine" in the first place and force them to go back to their "homeland".

3. As a further matter of fostering global harmony, we should offer (force them to take) the rest of the Islamic world the same deal. Take one of their Jews and force them to take one of our Moslems.

It will be interesting what the Arabs find to fight about when they lose the Jews as their Boogy men.

It will be interesting to see how the Islamic world will continue to hate us even though we no longer support Israel since it won't exist any longer.

One possible downside: The native American black population will cry about how the Jews are talking all the jobs in medicine, banking, retail, publishing, science, government and 500 other things. Because we all know how many unskilled black laborers would be in those jobs now if it weren't for the Jews.

America will definitely be a better place with 3.5 million more Jews and 3.5 million fewer Moslems. "Palestine" would arguably be worse off, but they would be happier in their misery than they are now.

Too bad forced relocation of ethnic populations is a crime against humanity according to The Hague.

6 comments:

Justin said...

It is hard to argue that Palestinians would be worse off, since they are locked into a big open-air prison, have their hospitals, schools, and powerplants periodically blown up (see Operation Caste Lead) and denied trade with the outside world for even necessary rebuilding materials like concrete.

Not to mention being systematically displaced out of their land by Jewish invaders, ehem, I mean, settlers.... which, as you mention, IS a violation of international law.

While I am open to the idea that something is wrong with the Muslims world (mainly related to following the teachings of a religious psychopath), I think if we counted the number of times "they" attacked "us", compared to vise versa, in the last, say, couple HUNDRED YEARS, we might be a bit more sympathetic to their status as somewhat distrustful of "us".

If your country was hemmed in by enemy troops/ships/airforces, and constantly threatened with invasive war, to be subject to foreign occupation and rule, how friendly would you be?

Professor Hale said...

Your view of history is different from my own. One of the benefits of living in the USA is that you get to be wrong and even harbor irrational hatreds against people without any harm to yourslef.

There is no such thing as international law because there is no such thing as international law enforcement. Treaties form the basis of law among nations and only exist to the extent that nations are willing to enforce them on each other. So, something can be a "crime against humanity" and not be a "violation of international law".

you can hardly call Gaza and the West Bank "open air prisons" when fully a half of the population has resettled to other countries and teh rest are free to travel internationally. To the extent that they live in a prison is due to the fact that they are such human efluence that other countries will no longer allow them to move in. The USA of course, just established more open and fast VISA processes to permit lots and lots of Palestinians to "visit Disney World" with no measures in place to ensure they go home.

Simon Grey said...

Would we get Israel's nukes as well? Because that would seal the deal for me.

Professor Hale said...

I certainly wouldn't leave those behind.

Anonymous said...

Justin,

The "palestinians" obtained access to live in Isreal, by conquest. The Jews regained access to live in Isreal by conquest. How one side can claim that they were wronged via the same method they generate their ow claim to the land is beyond me. Whining about pre-67 boarders is a crock. The Jews didn't start that war but they sure won it. If you start a war and get your a$$ handed to you, you aren't a victim, you're a loser. Trying to get the rest of the world to come an push the evil jews out of "your" country might make for good sound bites for jew haters (the UN, Obama, etc) but it makes no sense in the world of grown ups.

Res Ipsa

Professor Hale said...

Since conquest is how everyone else got their land, I don't have a problem with it. I also don't have a problem with the "Palestinians" trying to take back "their land" by conquest. But eventually, after generations of failing, they need to give it up and stop whining.